It’s so easy to lose track of yourself when you care so much about the people around you. For a long time, Jonell Deshotel did just that. As a young, working mother, Jonell dove deep into making sure that the people around her were ok. But somewhere in the process, she lost track of herself and decided to re-shift her focus. Previously, I spoke with Jonell about her journey as a daughter (you can check that out here). And recently, I reached back out to her to talk about her personal journey into self-love and self-care.
1. We recently chatted about how you were going to unveil a newer, better version of yourself to the world. Can you describe what that looks like?
The best way to describe my unveiling of a better self was to 100% meet myself where I was and grow from there. I spent majority of my life being the "people pleaser". As long as everyone around me was happy and okay, then it automatically put me into the mindset that I was doing something right. However, this pandemic proved to be a HUGE part in that self-discovery process. I spent lots of time alone, with the inability to interact with lots of people in person. It gave me the opportunity to read more, pray more, grow more, and fully accept who I was currently. Most importantly, it helped me to determine who I was desiring to be.
2. The last time we talked, we put a lot of focus on how your mother’s journey shaped you as a mother yourself and as a woman. Who or what else has played a role in shaping who you are now?
My 11-year-old daughter. Not trying to sound bias, but she is wholeheartedly one of the best humans walking the face of this earth. She is so smart, so talented, and wise beyond her years. It has been an incredible honor to raise another version of myself. Contrary to popular belief, we are polar opposites. Our interests are different, but we always figure out how to meet each other half way and have fun. She challenges me, she encourages me, and she is proud of me. Motherhood is never easy, but my kid definitely makes it well worth it. She continues to play a significant role in shaping me into who I am now.
3. As humans, we fall. We get tired and it can be so hard to keep going. Can you describe a rock bottom moment? And what did you do in order to “keep praying and keep pushing?”
My rock bottom moment was six years ago when I lost my Mother. My Mom fought an incredible 14 year battle with Breast Cancer. She was also my best friend and being my hero is an understatement. She defied odds, and I could easily say that I don't feel as if her death has hit me yet simply due to the fact that I can always feel her presence near. Most of my rock bottom moment(s) will be related to her not being around physically. There are times where I may need to get some advice or wanting to hear her laugh. Sometimes the simplest things can impact us in the biggest ways. I keep praying and keep pushing through those times as I remind myself that she will live on in my heart forever. I am confident that I will be able to carry on her legacy. Stay tuned!
4. What would you say was a pivotal moment that made you realize what you had to re-shift your focus back to yourself?
Simply put.....the year 2020 has been a pivotal moment within itself. Having to adjust to a brand new way of life has been overwhelming. However, it has truly given me a new sense of self-worth. I learned that in order to be my best self in motherhood, relationships, friendships, business, etc..... It has to start with me. I can not pour properly into someone or something without at least putting forth the effort in pouring into myself. That is why protecting my peace is key!
5. As you know, we are not alone in our journeys. What advice do you have for those who feel like they can’t push anymore?
My best advice is to be still in your moment. I suffer from anxiety and it is SO SO important to stop for a minute. Take a break. Reassess your energy and your environment. Learn how to say no to things that do not serve you. Also know that sometimes it is okay to not be okay. Make a mental checklist. Multi tasking is ideal. However, to find yourself taking things one step at a time....you will get more accomplished. This increases your ability to find new techniques in protecting and preserving your positive energy. Push, girl! You got this!
6. What can we expect from you as you continue your new chapter in self-care?
We can definitely expect lots of praying and pushing! This next chapter will be intense, yet empowering. I am humbled by the thought of continuing self-love in all capacities. Self-care will also look a little bit different. I am officially on the road to finding my inner strength and revealing my purpose. I will be focusing more on my spiritual mindset, prioritizing my health, and embracing each day with an open heart and open mind.
When it comes to life, God takes us all on different journeys in order for us to see the best in ourselves. The year of 2020 has definitely served as an eye-opener for many and Jonell is no exception to that. Life can throw some curveballs, but how we handle it is what makes us beyond amazing. As long as we stay prayed up, God can give us the tools we need to keep going.
As Jonell mentioned, stay tuned, and follow her here, as she continues her self-care journey.
To check out our previous Phoenix spotlights, just click here!
And Remember, Keep Praying and Keep Pushing!
