I can’t even begin to say how tired I am. The drama that comes with divorce has a tendency to drain the life force out of me. There are days where the battles get so hard that I don’t even know how much longer I can keep pushing through. There are many nights after my kids are asleep and I shed tears and wonder, “why me?” I know that I’m a good person. I know that I only have good intentions. However, I feel persecuted, misunderstood, unheard, and well….alone.
Now I am human. These emotions that I feel are natural under these circumstances. I’m at war. There will be battles that I will lose.
But God……
I can’t count the number of times that I’ve been knocked down in this process. But I’ve learned to let God be the one to pull me up and keep me going. And through this process, I’ve been allowed to see what I’ve had to do to keep it all together. Not just for my children but for myself. Slowly, but surely, I’ve been coming back to myself and finding the best ways for me to deal with these tough times. Here are just a few of the methods that I use.
1. Writing
Ever since I was a child, writing has always been therapeutic for me. It allows me to put everything in prospective and just let everything out. No matter what I was feeling, be it happy, sad, angry, etc., writing allowed me to express myself.
2. My Support System
I can honestly say that it took me a long time to realize that I truly had this. I was so focused on trying to solve my problems myself, that I didn’t realize that I had an array of family and friends who were behind me. In fact, one of my best friends in college that I’d lost contact with for long time became one of my biggest support systems because we learned that we were going through something similar at the same time! We had no clue because we never reached out. And when we finally did, it became a huge help for both of us. So reach out to those you trust and feel closest to. You’d be amazed at the support that can come from it.
3. My Faith
I once took a test to find out what my spiritual gift was. The top result that came out of that test was my faith. Thinking back on it, and even today, my faith in God has gotten me though all of this craziness that I’ve gone through and will go through. By praying, listening to gospel music, and just letting go, I’ve found that the peace that God sends to me keeps me so calm. My children are able to see me at my best despite our situation. When I’m at peace, they’re at peace too.
These are just a few things that help me in the midst of rough times. All of us are different, so find the methods that will help you to get through your storms. We all fall, but we have to get back up if we want to win the fight. We’re all human, therefore, we’re all different. And in different ways, we can find our peace and keep standing through the storm.
Remember to always pray and keep pushing!
